The last few weeks have been trying, but all is well now :) I just need to reilliterate it so that I could better communicate myself and who I am to, well the world I suppose.

I recently endured an experience that etched permanent lessons in my life that touched me by revealing who I truly am instead of who I thought I was (that’s always another check in the box). In a few words… I learn what I do and don’t care about. I now know that I don’t care about what others think of me in general, but I do care and care deeply about your (the world) respect towards me and my decisions in life, because I have always ALWAYS been supportive and happy for everyone else. There has never been a time when I didn’t put a smile on my face about everyone else’s decisions and actions in life. As long as you are happy about it; I am right behind you full speed ahead. And I learn, this is what I learn is that as soon as my intuition senses disrespect it is SERIOUSLY like a stabbing sensation in my chest.

What I do know as well… is that it has nothing to do with the person, and everything to do with me. I critize myself on my poor judgment and my lack of cautiousness with my relations with others. I am always so damn hard on myself because it hurts when I know that I’ve made a mistake. So how do I get around that; by editing things in my life; all things positive in, all contaminents out - simply and easy. And of course the most impotatnt lesson is learning and really coming to terms that I am not perfect. I always knew that, but the difference is that I now accept and acknowledge that fact.

(cupcakes that I baked for Victor’s birthday)

Happy Family Day! The better part of the weekend was spent with my mom, my family and celebrating my best friend’s birthday. I wake up everyday being thankful for the people in my life. Compared to many others the situations that I face are miniscule. I could never compare to their life threatening challenges. To think that someone right at this moment is dying and there is nothing that we could do to help him gives me more reason to be grateful of who I am and to a greater cause.

Today at IKEA there were tons of families, laughing, eating and bonding. I bought a chair :D HAHAHAH - the one that I was previously sitting on collapsed LOL - the screws on the side literally “blew out” of the chair LOL HAHAHAH - How that is possible I have noooooooo idea. Anyhow, tonight I did what I do usually when I have a lot of time on my hands - I took tons of pictures of myself! The colors actually turned out to be a lot nicer than I had ancipated!

The forever-changing colors of the little tin bowl… I know, it’s becoming like United Colors of Benetton. B & W will help hide your flaws.

Closeup of the rag I use… It is also forever changing in colors.

And me…. Can’t tell but I can’t wait to get outside tomorrow. Cabin fever and Wynne don’t mix well. WOoooooooooooooooooooot, yes - more fun tomorrow!

Work in progress

#22 - Most Linked (Today) - People & Blogs - Canada

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=WxKafRtSQWo&eurl=http://wyninspires.wordpress.com/

Most of this vacation will be spent at the library. I’m hoping to finally get through all the beautiful books I bought from Amazon last year. From O’Reilly’s to Phaidon art books –thanks to over $30 free shipping, and Amazon’s great usability “recommendations”. Anyhow, I’m excited to go reading through them.

Walking into the library today, well as I sit here a nostalgic sensation draws upon me. The tables and chairs… even the sofas placed against the ceiling to floor windows seems to have ceased to move since high school. Has that much time elapsed? Do certain things never change? Through the laughter, graduations, birthdays, first kisses, boyfriends, girls night outs, secrets, disappointments, tears and successes – the Richmond Hill Library seem to have everything vacuum packed in and conserved… Everything is looks, smells and feels exactly like it was ten years ago.

I feel a deep sense of warm, safety, and mental calmness as I sit here on the same wooden chair by the same window as I sat in ten years ago.

The view is still the same too. Despite the cloudy day I could still see the silhouettes of the trees at a distance as they embrace the horizon. There it is, the same train that runs through at this time. The same three flags echos against the rain and wind… The same way as it did ten years ago. I feel like I’ve never left this place. I feel like I’m returning in a victorious mindset, sorta like, I made it! I’ve graduated from university, I’ve worked my way up to my dream job and now I’m back to tell you how great it has been! Hurray!

But it’s much more than that.

I could still hear and see my friends and I sitting in those sofas by the window. During high school we often spent our weeknights at the library. The coffees and muffins were so sweet. We’d eat them as we gossip, laugh and sometimes got a little complaint here and there from the librarian. Those are the days that this library will bottle up for me as long as it exists.

Looking forward and at the precious present moment I am thankful to have the same friends who sat here with me ten years ago. I’m thankful that they are still such a vital part of my life. I am thankful to sit here in a positive light. I am thankful to sit here knowing that through their support, love and friendship I was able to create who I am today. I was capable of building and weaving a life that I could have only dreamed about when I was younger. “Enough” is such a strong word, and at this moment of my life I feel that I have more than enough.